Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Falling In Love With Islām: Handbook 1 - The Essentials of Islam; by Ms. Ra'ana Khan

‘Falling in Love with Islām’ is a series of Books I am compiling, recognizing the dire need of the present era; especially for the Muslim youth (teens and young adults); realizing that the youth of today unfortunately lacks the perseverance or the attention span to dedicate themselves to researching their Religion i.e. Islām, on their own; an effort is being made to put together these series of handbooks, in a simplified, brief (yet detailed) manner. Thereby providing them with the basic fundamental knowledge required for an average or common Muslim to correct their Beliefs, understand the rationale, and know the essentials pertaining to the bare basics or foundation of Islām. Likewise, for them to have a clear know-how of the requisites and elements of the rituals of worship; including wuzu, salāt, zakāt, Hajj, Tālīm-e-Dīn, Tablīgh-e-Dīn, Jehād, Zikrullāh, nikkāh, burial rites. The duties incumbent upon each individual in different roles as a member of a society at large and as a member of the family are also to be detailed in this series. These books in the series shall be presented as handbooks or guide books for the common Muslim person as a basic reference or guide for knowing the general Code of Life and Code of Love presented to us by Allāh , through His Beloved Prophet . The main aim and objective of this series is to make a Muslim individual orthodox in their Beliefs, and relieve them of their dependence upon pseudo Maulvīs; due to their own lack of knowledge and know-how of the implementation of their Dīn.   

Handbook 1 – The Essentials of Islām: this book focuses upon the Beliefs, fundamentals and rationale in regard to them. It aims to equip each Muslim individual with the necessary information required to independently herald his or her own staunchness and conviction in their individual Beliefs; thereby ensuring that they are not left as a pawn in the hands of groups or individuals; accordingly, not falling prey to any confusion deliberately being created by people with vested interests to create and promote sectarianism, or worse still manipulate our youth into falling victim to organized groups who inculcate terrorism and promote hatred on the basis of any distorted Belief or corrupted version of Islāmic history, with which they wish to indoctrinate our Muslim youth and young adults. It is a reminder for all of us to come back to the Islām revealed upon and delivered by Prophet Muhammad and not the versions of it that have evolved through time creating confusion, hatred, or focus solely upon the torment and retribution of Hell or the Hoors and Jewels of Heaven. It is in fact a means of putting things into their rightful perspective; similarly, highlighting the reality and purpose of the creation of this life of trials; most of all it aims to ensure that one recognizes that despite all that Islām Guides us in regard to who to trust and who to befriend, under no circumstances whatsoever does Islām encourage or endorse behaving in a less than dignified manner nor does it appreciate negativity and hate towards any person or creation; concern and apathy have been made a significant part of our beings as humans and Islām teaches us that anything which causes to evade these feelings is in fact degrading us from ‘being human’, likewise it is below our dignity as Muslims.

The handbook 1, in fact seeks to inculcate and promote the foundation of Islām, which is ‘Love’. Accordingly, to remind the Muslim individuals that the do’s and don’ts of Islām are all there for our individual, social, economic and national benefit; yet bearing in mind that being human we are bound to err, which applies to all others as well. Hence, none of us have been given the right or authority to Judge, which is something Allāh has solely reserved for Himself ; in fact it has been established as our responsibility to help one another overcome our weaknesses and perform as best as we can supporting each other wherever necessary; consequently sometimes stopping each other from indulging or giving into crime; likewise, by covering up the mistakes of each other; similarly, by highlighting the positives in one another; furthermore, also by quietly guiding each other back toward the path of salvation. It seeks to also point out that just because we as humans and due to our own shortcomings, fall short of being able to fully implement the injunctions of Islam upon ourselves; thereupon we should neither allow this to become a reason or justification for us to acquire an attitude of negligence in the obedience of Allāh and His Prophet ; likewise, nor should it bring us to a point of such despondency that we take to becoming defiant in order to derive some sort of peace of mind, which in fact can never attained in such a manner.

Handbook 1 – The Essentials of Islām, has been published at an international level and is presently a click away, available on Amazon Kindle (the link to which is shared below). In some days the Hardcover Books too will be available worldwide, via Amazon Books (the link shall be provided as soon as it is made available).  For all those looking to buy subsidized copies of my Book; a Black and white version has been made available at almost half the price. It is available on the following link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549748459

Kindle e-book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075J3TYN4

Amazon Hardcover Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549678035




Saturday, June 30, 2012

Have You Known Love?




Ms. Ra'ana Khan
30-6-2012


Love – The most redundant word on this planet. It has been used so oft that it has in all entirety lost its essence and intensity. A casualness has evolved into its core essence with every use and every betrayal. “Though a love betrayed, in essence, never really was!”

Love – there is no betrayal when there is love! Blessed are those who have known love and who have the capacity to love. Love is unconditional, and those who have loved with condition have never really loved. Majority of us today, have never known love. Moreover, thus left to believe that whatever of the feelings of affection, attraction and want that we have felt were in fact feelings of love, nevertheless the tragedy of it is, that these conditional feelings of affection, attraction, desire, longing or want that we have felt were never really “love”. These in fact, when receive no reciprocation break our heart such that we become hardened of heart, scarred and damaged in ways that hinder us from ever truly experiencing love in its entirety and in its purest of nature. It is a catch 22 situation, very rarely have people lived to overcome it and truly experience Love irrespective of what may or may not have preceded.

Love – They say the feeling that the mother has for her babies. Unfortunately, we live in a world where every now and again we hear of mothers who kill their babies. We hear of mothers who betray their children. Then how can we find love? How can we know love? And how can we experience love, when even the examples to describe the word or feeling or its essence have become perverted and are lost?

Love – Bear with me, and my attempt to allow you to feel something. From here on, before you read my words, clear your mind of all negativity and all your past and everything you know holds you down. Forget about the reality of you as you know it, your job, your life, your friends and family, just for these few moments allow yourself to think and be what you most naturally were meant to feel.

You are walking in a thick green forest, dark with foliage and tiny sparkles of light seeping through. You are alone and lost. You have no memory of who you are or what you are doing here, and what your purpose is. You do not have a penny to your name. You are walking along, avoiding thorns, looking for a path. It is humid and hot and you are straining to breathe. You are walking in a direction, it’s random, you do not know what to think, your mind blank and your body working on reflex.

Suddenly you stumble and fall, and you hear a shriek and crying. Sprawled on all fours, you turn to see what it is that you tripped over. You see a baby, crying, looking tired, dirty, and weak. You instinctively pick it up and see if it is hurt. If YOU hurt it? It looks unhurt, but you are reflexively worried. You try to calm it down and look around for anyone who it might belong to. You look around and call out “HEY! anyone here?” in all directions. You get no response. You place it against your chest and cradling its head in your palm you gently pat its back with your other hand until it stops crying. You start walking again. Now you are looking for something. Now you have thoughts. You are no longer blank. Without even noticing you have a purpose, a direction. You want to find water. You need to clean this child. You need to find who it belongs to.

You move along noticing the foliage and forest in a different way. Trying to find signs or any remote suggestion where you might find water. Your eyes are open wider and your ears are straining to hear. In a distance, you hear some movement. You are apprehensive; could it be a person, maybe the parent of the child? Or is it an animal, perhaps a dangerous one? You are cautious with your steps; you call out once again “Hey! Anyone there?” you hear movement again, this time it sounds like footsteps and they are slowly moving away. You start moving in that direction. Calling out again “Anyone there?” and the footsteps break into a run away from you. You begin to reflexively run after it, cradling and holding the child closer to your chest. The footsteps stop abruptly. You stop. You are panting. You keep walking slowly in the direction you were running. After a few minutes, you find yourself in an opening within the forest.

 It is beautiful. A well-hidden spot of utter beauty, surrounded by the forest. Trees acting like a boundary wall around this big open patch of clean rocks, greenery and a blue lagoon. It looks like heaven, something truly God-sent. You take the baby and move towards the water. You think about what to do first and how to go about it. You want to clean the baby. You take your shirt off, place it on a patch of grass near the water, and safely place the baby on it. You remove the clothes of the baby and realize it’s a girl. You feel an even greater urge to protect her. The child grabs your finger with her tiny hand and smiles at you. You feel immense affection and a strange gratification at the smile. You smile back. You wait until it releases your finger, then you go to the edge of the lagoon and dip your hands inside to wash them. You feel stinging and pain. You pull your hands out and for the first time notice scratches and thorns on the outer side of them. You caught them while protecting the baby when running, oddly enough you never felt the pain or even noticed it at the time. You remove the thorns and once again dip your hands in, washing them properly bearing the pain and the stinging.

You wash the baby clothes as best as you can and place them on a rock to dry. You go to the baby, slowly lifting it up, you take it to the water. Realizing that the temperature of the water is perfect you decide to dip the baby into the water. She is not very happy. The baby starts crying because she is feeling insecure. You decide to hold her against you once again and decide to go into the water yourself cradling it against you. This time the baby is happy and comfortable. Her tiny hands garb on to you as best as they can, while you cradle its head cleaning it with your spare hand. You both thoroughly enjoy the water and after a while step out. You place her on your shirt again and go to check if the baby clothes are dry by now. Luckily enough they are, so you cloth her again. You feel hungry by now and realize the baby must be hungry too.

You look around and find some grape vines. You reach out and grab some grapes. You come back to find the baby asleep, her mouth ajar, you’re worried, you check her breathing, realizing it’s normal you smile to yourself. You take the grape and lightly squeeze the juice into her mouth tilted to the side. You see her licking the juice even in her sleep. You squeeze a number of grapes into her mouth, then decide to rub her gums with your finger to check if she has any teeth. You feel two tiny sharp things trying to poke out of her lower jaw. You smile. Suddenly you hear your own stomach growling and you realize how hungry you are. You then devour some grapes yourself and go to find some other fruit to eat. You find some banana trees full of ripe bananas. You grab some for yourself and the baby. You go back to the baby and decide to take a nap along with it. You wake up to baby crying. You realize the baby must be hungry so you mash up a banana in your palm and slowly scoop bits of it with your finger, placing it in her mouth. She hungrily enjoys each mouthful. There is a strange feeling of gratification you receive at seeing her hunger being satisfied.

Sometime later, you notice she has soiled her clothes and you need to clean her. You begin taking care of her as if it is the most natural thing. As evening sets in you realize you will need to make some shelter for the night. You begin to look for branches and twigs, leaves and other foliage to create some sort of a shed or shelter. You suddenly notice a semi broken hut; you hurriedly walk to it, excited and nervous. You look around it seems safe enough.

You run back to get the baby girl, you grab her and holding her against yourself bring her back to the hut. You try to fix the broken bits as best as you can and bring in some foliage to make a soft bed for resting at night. Night befalls; you and the baby fall asleep.

In the morning, you wake up and find the baby gone. You freak out and jump out of the shed. Your heart pumping hard, your thoughts running hay wire. You look around in search. You see a woman seated near the lagoon with her back towards you, holding the baby girl. You find yourself a little confused. You feel mixed emotions, you are happy at the thought that the baby girl’s mother has been found, yet apprehensive about the situation. You walk up to her, and you call out “Hey”, she looks up and you feel this sudden shock, fear, anxiety and you snatch the baby girl from her hands and rush away. The woman calls behind you “She’s mine, I’m her mother!” You holler back “I don’t care, you have leprosy, do you realize how contagious that is, even if she were yours you have no right to expose her to the disease like that!” She shouts back “she might have contracted it already, she might give it to you” … “I don’t care! We’ll see about that!” You scream back in retort!

This is love! When you are willing to lose all you have for the purpose of your existence: protecting and keeping alive “your beloved”, nourishing it and cherishing it, without caring what you will eventually get in return. “Your beloved”: the center of your focus, your world, the object of your affections. Because the gratification you are receiving every moment from that unconditional love, does not require the waiting of “a final outcome”! No doubt, if after the child grew up, she left you with absolute and complete indifference; stating something like “you’re not my real parent”. It would hurt you to bits and cause immense pain, yet it would never make you love her any less. Furthermore, when and if in life she were to return, she would find you with open arms, a wide smile and tear filled eyes. Moreover, the happiness that she would bring you, nothing else can; for she was your love, the meaning to your life, the purpose, when all else was lost and you knew not even your own self.

Now imagine that the child grows up to love you unconditionally back. Addedly, she feels the inherent need to try and honour your parental unconditional love with every ounce of life in her. This is our relationship with Allah-SWT, the Prophet Muhammad-SAAW and Islam. Unconditional love!

Muslims, is another name for people who still have the capacity to love in its purest of essence. We Love the Prophet Muhammad-SAAW for he guided us and showed us the path when we were absolutely lost and had completely forgotten our purpose and direction. We love Allah-SWT for HE has loved us unconditionally. We feel that love, at whatever level depending on our own level of spiritual purity; nonetheless, we feel it all the same and in turn recognize His right to be loved back, thus feeling the intense need to reciprocate it. HE has created us to experience the joys of life and further more experience the joys of love, most intensely HIS OWN LOVE. We Love Islam for it is the perfect guide in all matters, teaching us the easiest and shortest ways to reach our goals, perfection, success and most of all experience happiness, not only in this life, but also in the hereafter. The intensity of what we feel towards Allah-SWT and Prophet Muhammad-SAAW is unimaginable. We lose all bookish logical reasoning when it comes to them. We put them before our own selves. Not only that, we put them before our own children, parents, siblings and spouses. In fact, besides our Love for Allah-SWT and the Prophet Muhammad-SAAW, no other love is unconditional, all the rest of our love and affection is pre-condition to the persons mutual love (and intensity thereof) of Allah-SWT and His Messenger-SAAW. We love Allah-SWT and the Prophet-SAAW with such intensity that for a disbeliever it might even seem unreasonable, ridiculous or self-harming. Nonetheless, for us our unconditional love compels us such that we would do anything at all within or even beyond our reach, to uphold Allah-SWT’s and His Messenger-SAAW’s honour and Love, even if it meant jeopardizing our own lives! Therefore, if you cannot understand us Muslims and what it is that makes us react the way it does when it comes to the matter of Allah-SWT’s and His Messenger Muhammad-SAAW’s honour, evidently - you haven’t known love!

Love is: Intense, fierce, earth-moving, passionate, pure, immense affection, earnest caring, harmonious, peaceful, placid, calm, severe, serene, hopeful, supportive, honourable, sincere, earnest, driving, compelling,  loyal, unconditional, it is these emotions and much more, all at once!

May Allah-SWT allow us all to experience and reciprocate His-SWT’s and His Messenger-SAAW’s Love in the most pure and intense of its form. Aameen!




For those of you who wish to experience a glimpse of Allah’s everlasting love, I am sharing here the easiest and the quickest way, I know how.

Basic method of Meditation for calling out to Allah-SWT (zikr-Allah) (to be done for at least 5-10 min twice a day, the longer you do this the better it is for you, in the morning and evening): Before you proceed further, clear your mind of all thoughts, preconceived ideas, beliefs and expectations:

  1. Sit in a comfortable relaxed position. 
  2. Close your eyes. 
  3. Concentrate on your breathing. Inhale deeply and exhale with deliberate force. 
  4. When you inhale recite the word ‘Allah’ in your heart. 
  5. Visualize the word ‘Allah’, descending on you in the form of light and penetrating into your soul, going straight into your heart (Qalb). 
  6. When you exhale, recite the word ‘Hoo’ in your heart. 
  7. Visualize the light that seeped into your heart now coming out of your heart and flowing out with your breath, only to come back and strike at/jolt your heart again. 
  8. Continue this exercise until you feel that you want to stop. 
  9. Now you may stop the deliberate breathing, and come back to your natural pace. 
  10. Continue the exercise for a few minutes in shallow, passive normal breathing.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

A very special dua at the request of a very dear friend!

I was asked by a very dear friend to flood her wall by sharing my dua’s because it might give other people some ideas about what they should also be asking for etc. I believe that dua’s are something very special and private between you and your Allah-SWT. Most of the dua’s are way too personal to share. They are either both personal and private because they concern you or because they concern someone dear to you and/or their private matter. But there is this one specific dua that I would like to share, because there is no one on Earth who cannot benefit from it...
See if my beloved were to ask me to ask him for anything at all and he would do his utmost to give it to me. I would ask him for himself! I would say “I want you! I want you to give me your complete self with all your affections, love, kindness, attention and joy with its utmost intensity, forever and ever and ever till eternity, that ‘may even death NOT do us apart’” so how could I ask Allah-SWT for anything less?
Over here my Allah-SWT has promised me that HE-SWT will Grant me anything at all if I ask with good will, sincerity, earnestness and passionately. And I know that Allah-SWT is the ONLY ONE Who has the Power to actually do so. When I know for sure that I will in-sha-Allah get what I want (there are no two ways about it)! So I ask Allah-SWT for Himself...
I pray “O’ Allah-SWT I want YOU-SWT (in Your complete and absolute entirety)! I want YOU O’ Allah-SWT with Your-SWT absolute Affections, Mercy, Love, Generosity, Pride, Greatness, Happiness, and all the Goodness that is You-SWT, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever till eternity, that may death never do US apart and may I be amongst those of Your-SWT beloveds (Muqariboon) whom You-SWT are ever so Proud of and who are a source of Pride and Joy for Your-SWT Prophet-SAAW. Keep me amongst those whom You-SWT are forever happy with, and they are forever happy with You-SWT. Whom You-SWT are Pleased to meet and see always and they are allowed to happily behold You-SWT forever. May I never be without Your-SWT affections and attention for even a fleeting moment!” Ameen!
Believe me, Allah-SWT is more real than anyone of us! And HIS-SWT Affections and Attention are way more intense than anyone of us can ever perceive. But we do have the ability to feel them (as long as our Qalb/heart is purified to atleast some extent), just like we can feel the affections and love of our mother or any person who truly loves us even if a gazillion miles separate us. (May Allah-SWT allow us to purify our hearts with the remembrance of HIS-SWT Name and allow us to feel HIS-SWT Love. Ameen!)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

TRUE FREEDOM LEADS TO TRULY EXPERIENCING THE PLEASURES OF LIFE


TRUE FREEDOM LEADS TO TRULY EXPERIENCING THE PLEASURES OF LIFE



Zikr-Allaah and meditation is all about helping you achieve; breaking free from the box and re-iterating your belief in Allaah-SWT therefore bringing out seemingly superhuman abilities.

There is a saying of Hadhrat Ali-RAU that goes something like this:"man can achieve anything he wants, as long as he believes Allaah-SWT can do it for him!" and that my dear is the crux of Islam and the sum up of the purpose, direction and achievement of this worldly life. Allaah-SWT wants us to live to the max but without oppressing or hindering other people from doing so too! Live and let live, be merry and let others be merry too!

The stronger our belief in Allaah-SWT the more we voluntarily submit to HIM-SWT the more FRE we become! Our belief in Allaah-SWT is the only path to true Freedom. Since Allaah-SWT is all Powerful, all Aware, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Controller and Creator of everything, and always does what is best and can manifest betterment in anything for us. Then we can achieve absolutely any heights we desire by simply believing in Allaah-SWT in His-SWT absolute entirety (with all HIS-SWT aspects as mentioned to us by the Prophet-SW) being obedient to HIM-SWT and asking HIM-SWT (making dua). We can actually fly without wings, as done many a times by different Aulia to reveal the Miracles of believing in Allaah-SWT.

So those people who claim to love Allaah-SWT but insist that they are unable to submit to His-SWT Will and become obedient to Him-SWT and His-SWT Prophet-SAW – Claiming to be devout believers but un-practicing Muslims...

Sorry to burst their bubble, but their claim is false!

People do not improve or change because they do not WANT to improve or change.

But people who believe in something cannot help but practice what they believe.

Knowing and believing are two completely separate things. And a Muslim is one who BELIEVES in Allaah-SWT and HIS-SWT Prophet-SW, not simply one who knows of them. Therefore “Non-practicing Muslim” is an oxymoron. One can be “a SOMEWHAT practicing Muslim”, making an effort to follow, as best as he can, at least the basic fundamentals for a Muslim (Salaat, Fasting, Zakaat, Sadqah, Hajj are the basic rituals that set a Muslim apart from a Non-Believer). And this would be so because of a bare minimum level of belief in Allaah-SWT and His-SWT Prophet-SW.

If one truly believed that Prophet Muhammad-SAW was an embodiment of Truth and never spoke anything but the truth, then that belief would atleast encourage one to know all that he-SW has shared with us, since Allaah-SWT has placed this inherent need in everyone to want to seek the TRUTH!
This need would bring us first and foremost to the first part of our Kalimah “la illaha ilAllaah” (There is no God but Allaah). Knowing this is THE TRUTH, we would instantly BELIEVE! (like the companions-RAU did).

After which we would like to know Who is this Allaah-SWT? and we are told that HE-SWT is the One and Only Creator and Lord of the Universe and all that has ever been created. HE-SWT is, was and will always be, even when there’s nothing! We are informed of 98 other attributes and are told that there are infinite more which we will discover after we die. And knowing this is THE TRUTH, we would instantly BELIEVE! (like the companions-RAU did).

After being informed of the Truth’s above we are lead to the Quran, which our very truthful Prophet-SW has informed us to be the Word of Allaah-SWT. And we are placed in direct communication with our Lord-SWT being informed by HIM-SWT about HIS-SWT likes and dislikes and what HE-SWT wants and expects of us. Knowing this too is THE TRUTH, we would instantly BELIEVE! (like the companions-RAU did).

And this BELIEF would instinctively make us submit, conform and abide out of IMMENSE LOVE for Allaah-SWT (for having Created us and Loving us and showing us Immense Mercy and allowing us to discover and feel the pleasures of life which would have been unknown to us otherwise) and INTENSE LOVE for the Prophet-SW (without whom-SW we would have never known Allaah-SWT and who-SW suffered endlessly to keep the TRUTH alive for us and all generations to come till the end of time).

Just like when we go to a very well recommended doctor, he listens to us with concern and diagnoses our disease with confidence. Reiterating our belief in his diagnose by highlighting symptoms we must be feeling which we failed to recognize or associate with this disease or problem. Then when he tells us we have to undergo minor surgery, but it must be done soon. He schedules the surgery for the next day and tells us to stop eating 8 hours before the procedure and stop drinking any liquids 5 hours before the procedure. We believe the doctor so we agree with the procedure and we believe that the procedure has to take place at the scheduled time so we abide by the instructions of the doctor and stop eating and drinking at the required times. This is the difference between knowing and believing. When one believes, they take the respective action. There are only two states a person can be in either “you believe” or “your are in doubt / you don’t believe”.

“I believe, but ...” is an oxymoron!

Belief, Love and Actions go hand in hand, otherwise it would be nothing but hypocrisy.

People who truly know Allaah-SWT cannot help but believe in HIM-SWT and instinctively fall in love with Allaah-SWT for HE-SWT is truly the only ONE worthy of our love. And when you love Allaah-SWT you cannot help but automatically change whether or not you consciously thought of doing so, for just our simply believing in Allaah-SWT pulls us out of the box and we are no longer inhibited or hindered by our previous actions, beliefs or limitations in our mind. The second we choose to BELIEVE in Allaah-SWT we seek forgiveness for all our past mistakes, we instantly make amends, we truly BELIEVE we are forgiven and we start from a blank new page to discover life and the pleasures thereof as permitted by Allaah-SWT.

This is not a judgment call, it’s a wakeup call!

We live with the choices we make, not only in this life, but also in the hereafter.

May Allaah-SWT allow us to make choices that bring us closer to HIM-SWT and earn us HIS-SWT Love, bringing us true happiness and success in both the worlds. Aameen!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

DO UNTO OTHERS ...

written by Ra'ana Khan

Up until today I had heard “Do unto others what you would want them to do to you!” This quote had appealed to me much, but as I went through life, I realised there was something not quite right with it!
It was a simple enough rule to apply to ones life, and should have been enough to keep one humbly satisfied. But no matter how hard one tried to follow the rule, some amount of discontentment kept sucking at ones internal peace. And strangely enough instead of becoming increasingly humble, deep down inside I felt a kind of arrogance brewing. I know, this absurdity makes no sense, but I explored my inner-self enough to finally manage to hunt down why this was so. The reason for this strange discontentment and even stranger arrogance is far simpler than the implementation of the rule itself.
Lets go over the rule itself, since the resulting attitude is a direct consequence. “Do unto others what you would want them to do to you!” Basically what’s being asked of you is to be good to others, because you want them to be good to you. So when you begin to implement this rule to yourselves what you are doing is trying your best to change for the better, because you would want others to change for the better too. So you’re being good because you are hoping for others to be good to you. The harder you are trying to put aside all your negative instincts like revenge, anger, irritation, etc and the harder you are trying to cut people slack, the more that ‘hope’ of returned goodwill is turning into expectation. And here is where the crux of the problem lies. We do good to others, and then we expect them to do good to us. So our focus and expectation of reward is stuck on other helpless imperfect mortals who may or may not be following the same rule. It is here where the seed of arrogance starts to bury itself into our souls. When we are not reciprocated with goodness, we try to over come our irritation or negative feelings towards the person by rising above. And in doing so we actually ‘rise above,’ we rise above them! In our minds we begin to slowly place our self, little by little above person by person, on a mini pedestal, which is perhaps not so mini by the end of it.
As we ‘rise above’ the persons around us, in our minds, the irritation begins to wither away leaving behind this feeling we wrongly perceive as contentment. This contentment is in fact just an illusion, it’s called gloating in the glorified image that we have created of ourselves in our minds. And each time that we are good to someone, yet again we have given ourselves reason to be proud. We speak to people nicely, people who may be of a lesser educational or financial background, and we feel we have been ‘good’ in doing so. We believe we are humble and down to earth because we have been kind to those, who in our minds are below us. Thus we ‘rise above’ and the seed of arrogance grows to a plant, to a tree.
What an entirely bizarre situation to be in. You set out to better yourself, and end up being perhaps far worse and far shallower than you were to begin with. I could not understand what exactly the flaw was in the law, until I heard the following; “Do unto others, what you would want Allah-SWT to do to you!” And this changed my world, understanding, perception and capacity to love and forgive.
“Do unto others, what you would want Allah-SWT to do to you!” … If I were to make a list of what I would want Allah-SWT to do to me, I thought that list would be endless. But I was quite wrong. It is perhaps so short that I cannot even call it a list!
I want Allah-SWT to love me unconditionally and forgive me without accountability, as if I never sinned!
And thus my life is simplified and I am at utmost peace. I continue to love everyone unconditionally (as best as I can) & pray for them. But forgive them I cannot, because for forgiveness comes only after the acknowledgment of they’re wrong doing, and I refuse to acknowledge that, because I don’t want my wrong doings acknowledged by Allah-SWT either!